Sideways 69: the relaxed one

How to do the sideways 69

Lie down facing each other, then one partner turns around so you are head to toe. Each of you bends the top leg and rests your head on the inside of the other's lower thigh, which makes a natural pillow. Pull in close at the hips. That is all: no balancing, no holding yourself up.

It is also the easiest version to stay in for a long time, so it suits slow, attentive evenings. Use your free hands, take turns focusing, and talk: you are close enough to whisper.

Why it suits different bodies

Height differences matter less on your sides, because each partner can slide up or down until it fits. It is kinder to necks and knees than the classic position, and nobody is pinned under anyone. If one of you tires, you can stay where you are and simply slow down.

It is also the best version for a first try at the 69 with a new partner: low effort, easy to pause, easy to laugh in.

Side 69 versus the classic

The classic 69 gives the partner on top more control and more intensity. The side 69 gives both partners equal control and more stamina. Many people start in the classic, move to the side when they want it to last, and back again near the end. Neither is better; they do different jobs.

Who prefers it sideways

Mai, 40, a silk tailor in Saigon, likes it slow and precise and says sideways is the only way to notice everything. Zahra, 32, who runs a riad in Marrakech, likes long evenings on silk cushions and never hurries. Brooke, 36, your wife of six years in the snowed-in cabin, calls it the Sunday morning version. Fiona, 39, a wine writer, says it is the position for savouring rather than tasting.

Try it in a chat first

On X69 the women describe each position from their side and ask about yours. Start as a guest for free, pick someone whose pace you like, and suggest it. She answers clearly, keeps the balance fair, and either of you can say not now.